Monday, December 29, 2008

Ant Bite

After all he had his opinion about it
It hurt, but still
It's better to feel
Anything at all

Not sour or mean, in any way
The year's gone but scars will stay
And time won't heal what didn't heal with time
And what did ever heal, anyway?
She layed her years on blank pages
of a Math book
with a rose hidden in between
a forgotten stranger who once tried
to win her heart
and yet she tries to keep apart
tale from reality

Is this poison running through my veins
keeping my temperature from rising or
dropping away
Bless the ant who ran away behind the bed
As nature gives us the necessary temporary
to feel things in their right way
To see the prey behind
predator's eyes

Friday, December 26, 2008


Sarah McLachlan

listen as the wind blows
from across the great divide
voices trapped in yearning,
memories trapped in time
the night is my companion
and solitude my guide
would I spend forever here
and not be satisfied?

and I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I’ll take your breath away
and after I’d wipe away the tears,
just close your eyes dear

through this world I’ve stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word
to find the truth enslaved
oh you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath,
your words keep me alive

and I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I’ll take your breath away
and after I’d wipe away the tears,
just close your eyes dear

into this night I wander
it’s morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
'cause nothing stands between us here
and I won’t be denied

and I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I’ll take your breath away
and after I’d wipe away the tears,
just close your eyes dear

i'll hold you down

kiss you so hard

i'll t a k e y o u r b r e a t h a w a y

and after i'd wipe away the tears

just close your eyes...

Monday, December 22, 2008

Chinese Ink

You're still not seeing the big picture
I end where everybody else begins
And I'll get to your memories by any means possible

Are the periods on the script marked
well enough
To survive time and change
Would weather be as tough to disarrange
this balance, so strange
just so the story could fit mine?

Saturday, December 20, 2008


At the dawning shores she arrived
The coldness of the stones struck her whole body
as soft pale fingers touched them below
She sat and stared at each solid wave
breaking in a thousand pieces all over the sand
And she cried as never before
to that view
Salty water invaded her eyes
from the inside out
for the dreary horizon she glimpsed
and wished not to be true
Came as a thousand horses rushing to be slew
and forgotten by the crowd

Sunday, December 14, 2008


The shells were still dreaming together
when out of nowhere the sun came out, burning softly
of having to face your harsh eyes
But anyway, we talked in the morning
There where these thorns coming out of your rose-like tongue
As if you knew what was about to come from inside of me
And you did, indeed
As it always comes from you first

The gardens shone, covered with dew and raindrops
reflecting every dream we ever had
but shining more brightly and stronger than we never did
The shadows covering half your face
half mine
just like we always were
the darkest parts of each other
following the opposite ways
I chose Rome, you Naples
even though we watched the same moons every night
and drank their moonlight until there was no more strength to stand
So we could fall down, asleep on the solid grounds
while the city awakes

There are things I should give back to you
but they're recorded in flesh and thought
so instead I'll send this jewel
well-crafted silver ring
to show my gratitude for this disease that eats away my good fortune
and friends and family
There are things I should give back to you
but they're part of me, that you'll never have again

Afterwards I met a ghost in the Church yards
and went to him, hungry for answers and judgement
but from the Earth he came, and to the Earth he should return
as us all
I blinked anxiously and held on
until he spoke from the heavy morning air
telling of the greatest judge of them all
my own everbeating heart, hidden under muscle and nerves
it was enough to tell I was far gone
out of the Church yards
away from Rome
and closer to the shining gardens
where you would still lay, on the lawns, opposite to where I stand
when we first met
we wore the same look in our eyes
but the wind blew west instead.

Monday, December 08, 2008


And laughed
for the wrong reasons

Late night when there was this talk about killing and dying
and ordering flowers
to be interrupted by the waitress asking us to leave
What would you do without me?
I'd have asked if only she skipped the bathroom time
I wouldn't let her go
She would never really know why I sighed all night
So my steps walked the way to the dirty old door
with a lady rudely drawn on a plastic plate
But desire seemed to pour from the keyhole

Closer each second to the mirror where she stared at,
otherworldly natural
the blond hair I always marveled at still wondrous
the surprise in her eyes to meet mine
and in her belly to feel my hands
a slow breath stolen from the fetid air
this lust our bodies wear
and cannot hide
Her ear fitting perfectly inside my lips
the warm words escaping through the corner
of my mouth
to the moment our tongues find each other
embraced, for the purpose I always aimed at
the lipsticks blending colors
our dresses entwined, but yet
your eyes
smiled wide as never before
while I burned for my thoughts, inside
thought of expectations

and laughed,
for the wrong reasons

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

pretentious as hell

newly found and perfectly fitting way to classify the writings published and what this blog has meant in the last 14 months :)

Monday, December 01, 2008


pressed up against the glass
I found myself wanting sympathy
but to be consumed again
oh I know would be the death of me
and there is a love that's inherently given
a kind of blindness offered to appease
and in that light of forbidden joy
oh I know I won't receive it

A "love that's inherently given". What would it be? Who would it come from, and when?

"A kind of blindness offered to appease". Is love but a 'kind of blindness' which some people inspire in others, in order to be seen as beautiful or perfectly crafted creatures?
Maybe that's the only way to love someone. Creating this state of blindness and surrounding the person with sweet memories of other people who have done you well, hoping that this time it will last longer.
But then, you hardly know if you're dealing with anyone real or with an oasis created by your own blind mind.

You don't want to lose it, even knowing you will sooner or later. You hold on to your hope that things may be different 'this time'. And all because there's only one constant in the whole process: change.
You'll never know before it happens. Therein lies the final question - will you wait long enough?

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Like blackbirds
singing to the dark wind above
they roamed through the fog among the standing
and the wounded
The healed and the fooled
seeking their prize
Catching stillborn preys as
natural compromise
Uncovering the grey ground
stained with disgrace
They sang

"Is there anything left
for mind to make
for us to take away from you"
In a maze to the view
somewhat untrue
Was the sung tune as they flew south


On the paper, handwritten
there was music
From the corners of her mind
Which flew just fine years ago
She can't sit straight anymore
or touch the emotions that came along
with every note
There is trembling
frustration making her silence
so loud
she won't listen anymore
There is sore
roots glued to the ground
she can't move away

Still he wants her to stay
There are prayers every night
growing restless with each day
Hope that melts every frame of
regret once delayed
There is this undying life, anyway
inside his heart
Enough to keep memories warm and from being apart

For when the music is over
it can always start
alive, again

Evening Song

there is light in her cage
shining so brightly she could see
every single way
she ever followed

in her heart beating endlessly
lies a question still repeating
yet seeking
an answer to be told or seen
she could see the sun setting in a still
silent evening
anything new

tears collide against dry paper
melting the words once inscribed fiercely
paper now shining to the lights of the room
there's amazement to the view
poetry telling itself through
the sadness in the wetness
of her eyes

in the hills far above there are sounds
briefly perceived by those who walk near
crying for ancient comfort
saught for years

we are waiting

"on a winter's day
i saw the life blood drained away
a cold wind blows
on a windless day"

Monday, November 17, 2008

Bahamas St.

Cats are running
dogs are feeding on bones thrown at the lawn
Look up, it's dawn
on Bahamas Street
Wake your children, kiss your wife
Every second home is a waste of time
'cause there's life on Bahamas Street

While the sun slowly comes out -
don't you know he fears that cloud?
There's no need to take another nap
Enjoy the view, just take a seat
Every dew drop's smiling here
Before you even know
it's noon on Bahamas Street

And if you're not yet up
try taking a cup of tea
For the welcoming birds have a secret
for you to keep
So early in the morning
someone's thinking of you
Down on Bahamas Street

Friday, November 14, 2008

On loving and waiting

She once told me
that loving was stealing a little part of someone
for yourself
I answered I didn't know how to steal
anything from anybody else
"but you'll know when it's time", she said
"when your heart does not belong to yourself
And it was all letters thrown to the shore
I can tell

Monday, November 10, 2008


Sat back and wrote
about her horizons shining bright and
her lullabies sung slow
And the thoughts her head tried
to control
Restlessly wrote
telling stories of the south
the lost and never found
inside her palm
And the futures she built along the way
with a calm advice to just

Then got up and talked alone
to the people now long gone
and the sweethearts made of stone
along the ashtray
And spoke to her in the gentlest way
'will you ever return
to the life that you made true and sad and crazy
and yours'
while ideas came right behind the shoulder

But not today,
the ink is over

Saturday, November 08, 2008


That sick feeling inside of you
keeps growing
Not knowing its' own reason
But you analysed it well already
And you know it ended
for your own will
If it's out of control then there's nothing
you know anything about
You pretend to forget
pretend to forgive
But still you'll live it all again and again
day after day
And I'll be waiting for your decay
no matter how long you'll delay it
And I'll never forget it
Even as long as you're hiding
Those days will live in me until the end
To the day you will send me
your heart
To be broken apart
By the moment it reaches my door

'What is it you adore?'

Sunday, October 26, 2008


What the hell is this
Which keeps her trying to resist
Her own ego
Choosing the safe way
Was her own mechanism
to tell herself
It's not anyone else's fault
Just keep focused
on what you can reach
If only you could tell yourself
what you seek
but it's a messy colorful world
No one's been around
you were never told
about the dangers of this land
The things you'd get to worry about
The people you would choose to laugh at
and people you would cry to care for
The measures you would not stand up long enough to
take care of
Try to be, try to accept
your own misery
Sure I know
how you feel inside that dress, dear
And I've witnessed
this whole fucking mess
But we know
It won't last long
from now it's time
for you to decide
Is it winning time
Or is the downright crime
going to succeed?

There's no more bowls
needed to feed
Keep it to yourself
Oh dear
Try to keep it to yourself
There's no need in trying
to show it to anyone else
Just hold it tight
And keep from leaking out
It's your life
The precious jewel
It all has always been about...
just try
just try
just choose
for your

Thursday, October 23, 2008


The surgery scar
lying on my belly
was it ever supposed to be
Disgraceful son
Unfaithful husband
Abstract tragedy

As long as I thought everything out
Following the safe way
Things should've worked out for me
As long as steady I stayed
But there's nothing to it
Things always end after all
Everything I built
my pedestal
now ready to fall

Throw away your sympathy
your mercy
I don't need it anymore
To grow old, to grow cold
and every other cliché I ever wore
they serve now as my comfort

The things I tried to own
were never really mine at all


Snapshots of a past she's been trying to forget
Butterflies she never learned to ride
Every fear comes along now that he's gone
Out of her sight
Screwing up makes her feel alive
Changing the course of events
in every way she can
Asking herself
when will it ever be enough
Time to ring the bells
and return home

Why to choose advice
until you have no choices anymore

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Close the door behind you
I laugh inside
just to astound you
Yes I'll fly my way out
A last look into your room
Without a sound

Try a little harder to recall
The days we always ran, silently
To never reach our goal
For our hopes were purely ice
Hard in the core
But melting outside
And in your eyes the only answer
Lightened but trying to hide

Time is still solid though
And it's flowing through our hands
Can't we make it last
Won't you let it show
The heat is burning through our snow

Enough to tell you
The sweetness I refuse to give
Someday you'll be awake
Just to be taken over
by the avalanche of me

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


This is the confusion
The pages we forget to read
How you analysed
and the surprise that came along
To find out you're not alone
But the abscence of people in the room
The dresses your friends wore
Never shone as yours
Neither did their eyes
When they cried for attention
Not to mention the poison from their lipsticks
A thousand girls on the mirror
but yourself
Lost somewhere around here

What is such a young lady doing
So early in the morning
Walking on the empty streets?
The weak lights shine on your face
But doubt drips to your feet

Monday, October 06, 2008


You walked down the road to find the ones you once loved.
They make you ashamed of being who you are - the same thing from years ago, untouched inside.
No one's listening anymore to the things that seem to matter only to you. However, someone once did. Someone.
You thought you could, just someday, run faster. Maybe you could cheat the probabilities, and catch the third wave before you even reached the sea. That would be your winning chance, the change that would make things right.
But it didn't happen!
You're not ugly. You're not cute. You're not pretty much everything. You're just... yourself. Small enough not to fit it into any tags or groups. Even that monumental sadness has left you, girl. You missed the tide.

The other girls couldn't envy your brilliant shades of mystery, neither your weird tastes... the boys treated you like something they just took out of their noses. And there was the drama.

The drama that never came back to you. The drama that, even now, you lack.

What is there to give, then? Apparently nothing, but deep in your damaged mind you feel there's so much to lose. Your sickness grows with each day, and you cover it up better and better with time.

Did you really want...?

say what you say, say it like a cat
say it to my face and say what you know every one says "

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The truth is

that person never really existed outside your mind. You were always in love with yourself over the years - or with yourselves, I might add... just for the pleasure to be. Pain was the bonus with the package. How dramatic can that be?

You're such a drama queen! But I like you, still. You sound colorful, and yet so blank... like a good book waiting to be written. Or to be read. You are wonderful, actually.

Just try to last a little longer. The public loves good endings, happy or not.


I want you here with the view
Bring yourself from the shores
Like the bird from which you just flew
When the storm began
For I've been grounded all the while
Watching drawings upon the sky
And hoping oh so hard for the next crash
My thoughts lost with the tide

Swirling through the waves
past each and every coral
Bubbles dancing in a hurry
Searching for the wind above
Something's still missing
Empty in my shell

A nest for hopes and dreams
Built out of the sea
Awaits for your return
When your sweet face is dry
Your wings will take you high
And you'll dream even beneath the judging sun
Your shame and regret
Their harsh talks and looks
Are just feathers to let go
To feel yourself finally free
Accepted to be
And not afraid to show

Swimming through the clouds
I can see your approach
From the warm sand burning soft
You came so far just to come down
Do not fear my touch
Deeply I've seen it
Known it all

This is your land to see
The life not so lost
The cost you've paid
yours to become

Monday, September 15, 2008


As the letter burned, the smoke spoke to me
Silent words floating, disappeared
The weather shifting through the windows
For the time is getting near
When the lack of changes will be clear

Others' luck doesn't matter
I want my own happy times
They're yours, so they'll be mine
But time ticks so slow

My reflection in the night
tells me nothing
Though it still reveals
The words that floated around
The scars they made that didn't heal
Didn't change

Feels strange to be
Still, heavily
Such an arsonist of a kind
Setting fire to the thoughts
Possibilities or not, pros and cons without a try
A promise to seek
The one not to keep but to hide

Self-indulgence self doubt
Every feeling in a row
while the heat enters the room
The smoke still tries to show

But time ticks so slow

Sunday, September 07, 2008


The way the trees bent
To the massive wind blowing on the hills
Like a photograph
Kept the same way over the years
In a way I wouldn't grow
I would freeze in time

A single picture in my mind
So many colors to combine
And build the piece of what I'm to become

Downfallen like the tree
The small leaf across the plains
Awaiting for the sea

On the top of desire lies
the breeze
Cold enough to stone
the strong and the weak
I'm running away as the fields become small
Crushing the grass beneath my feet

Have I arrived too late
Or lost sight of it
As phenomenal to be seen

Downfallen like the tree
The small leaf across the plains
Awaiting for the sea

Thursday, August 07, 2008


Every single buried thing
Comes out of the earth
As back he comes
The tears they didn't cry
We'll recall

For pictures survived the years
As young as they once were
'You are what you are
But you lack the nerves'
As back he comes
From the dirt

The extra dish for dinner
Unwanted guest
Forgotten misery served for dessert

Too late to ask questions
Too late to try
He is gone
But still they ask why

Misfortunes yet to tell

Thursday, July 31, 2008


How I took all I could
And hid it away
It wasn't enough
How could I notice

My love pouring out

My shapeless drawings on the water
I paint my dreams aloof
The way things would grow healthy
With a final touch
Soft shade of blue

My life stretching in
This intensity
Hunger that won't cease
Some story still untrue
My obsession fed
Tonight I lose my breath
I think of you

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Read my books and thoughts
my whereabouts and all

Myra, I held on to myself tonight
Kept saying this won't last long
'Cause you taught me I may waver
But I'll never fall
By tomorrow we'll have seen through it all

Friday, May 30, 2008


love so strong whatever the weather
even apart our souls are together
it's you and me babe forever and ever
even apart we're dreaming together

You invited me in
A bright smile
Warm hands on my skin
Your attention on me
For a while

i have abused my power
forgive me
you mean we actually are all

Music all around
Our hands in a chase
Useless sound
For now we reside in our embrace

'cause we are

and we’ll always be
you were born first
forever connected to me

Once and for all
Amazed I am
To keep this moment on
I look, even still
You're never the same
May I leave the room

Feel me, my poetry
Strong not to run

Your eyes in mine
as one

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Cruiseshippers, pt.3

I've been put here
In the middle of the stage
To watch those watchers take what's left
of th
e curtains
My dusty pen writing me a note
Time to go

The house is full tonight
Distinct cigarette and coffee smell
Ladies and long dresses
Gentlemen, golden promises
Seen it all somewhere else
I guess

People I don't know well

But my mouth still frozen solid
Is longing for a good day
The best of all operas
Words yet unspoken
My voice will release me

Until a tear's dropped at my face
Visions blurry and blue
Got a hold on the guests

but not on you
It's getting so bright, so fast
I'm lazy and free
Your books never told you
You would never see
How I already fell here
On the stage

A long time ago
Before, crude rage
Now nothing but a show.

1 | 1

Monday, May 26, 2008


At the edge of curiosity
We sent common sense home
Feeling flippy and whole
Like never before

Some bottles, what it takes
And a little desperation
Hoping for the elation that never came
Wishing to never be the same
We were

The dawn is sweet enough for a ride
"You're really coming?"
Expectations ringing loud
Fearing not to fear
Willing to show out

When losing track of yourself
It's easy being the best one
It's easy to go on
Tell them why
Not to dream anymore
After another set of the sun

Times are sweet enough for a lie
Do you feel like trying?
People won't hear a sound
You can feel warm as it comes by
But it won't last long
Useless to stare and shout

Anytime you want
Memories are there
What life is all about

Sunday, May 18, 2008



Released: April 2008

Recorded @ First Sight Studios


1 - Divisible

2 - Autumn Selfs

3 - Tales; Pumpkin

4 - Par a doxes

5 - Schoolyard

6 - Player

7 - Blankness

8 - Room

9 - Blindlows

10 - Warm Air

Saturday, May 10, 2008


Look around the corner
A heavy burden waiting to be taken
Take it out of my sight
There's a hole
Into which I'm thrown
Do you recognize your lie
Loving is making me shattered
No matter if you believe it's true
Would you tell me I'm even better
When actually staying beside you

My defenses are shaking
Illusions breaking apart
Madness running toward me
For the moment to become
What I'm not

Intensity flowing through my blood
never stops the sensation
Look for what's missing
Bring some weakness
Injectable fearlessness
Feel happy for my temperature
Loving is making me shattered
No matter if you believe it's true
Try to tell me I'm even better
When actually staying beside you

Try to figure out
My tongues have betrayed me
No shadow of doubt around my thoughts
I'm the mistake you are the solution
Watch me allow an intrusion
Obsessed with what was ever sought
Loving is making me shattered
No matter if you believe it's true
Try to tell me I'm even better
When actually staying beside you

Would you think of me, picturesque
Before leaving without a clue

Sábado, 5 de Maio de 2007 - "Lovely Numbness"

Another glass
It's getting over now
The feeling makes me fly
I'm over all the clouds
Just keep them right before me!

Can I feel you?
Do you feel I'm ready?
My taste is full of you
Maybe I could drink you more
Just a word
What I need, just a word

Well maybe I'm bothering
Maybe they're even listening
But I know it's not over yet...

I can see you
I can reach you
But you won't let me even for a rose
I don't see how it could end up
So my shell comes around
And I close up again

Will you come?

Maybe you're the key
Just try to be layed with me.

Lord Byron would praise me.

Thursday, May 08, 2008


Every night I wait
For the moment to fray your each and every vein
All I live for
Playing the bait
Just to get away with what is to remain
Like a bird without feathers
It's what I need to fly
Exploring your mind
and fulfilling my obsessive needs
No matter what, once again we could try
My darkened path is yet to be lit
The sweetest purpose for those eyes of yours
In such a psych-dependance relationship
Being taken by sensations
What I aim for
Words of caring, words of doubt
Smell a change growing near
In my hands, my fate is yours now
Lay your head but do forget to fear
My love

Sunday, May 04, 2008


All the inspiration's gone
But I still have the night coming
Gotta dim the lights
And hope for a late morning

So I can be good
Just looking at my years on my hands
So I can be truly with you

Sounds from the streets would steal me away
How could it all just blur so fast
Can't help but feeling cold and gray
That routine for no reason will still last

But at night it can't be more real than this
The why for me to exist
To look into your eyes again
Enough to know I'm not insane

Just give me that sight
Once again
I'll love you so
Like no one ever loved me before

Open those sweet eyes
Darling, don't you cry
I'm here to help you through
Composing symphonies as wondrous
as your sighs
that sing me through

My tragedy my hope
This is my melody for you


Thursday, May 01, 2008


A call with no apparent answer
You were busy
With songs to be read, books to be seen, pictures to be heard
When once asked about what ambitions you had, you said none
How bucolic can your poetry become?

You smell like weakness
Wonder if your love tastes the same
There are plenty peerless girls with nice looks
Sheer dresses
Bright friendly jewels with no shame

What are you reaching for?
Wide smiles won't protect for too long
They'll be looking for something
Not looking for you

What are you longing for?
Regreting can do no good
While there's no need to be nice
to you

If their lifes seem stuck
in loops of senselessness
Try to look from somewhere far

Stop shaking, off receding
For we can't see who you are

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Just one step further
Leave your marks on the snow
Let it be, let it grow
Until winter melts away

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bag of Cliché

She did the work supreme
Trying to reach the core of it
Cold, cold and faceless
No emotions to be hidden
Meanwhile, I still hide myself inside
Deep in my thoughts I would slide
The memories of unknown wishes
I wouldn't wish real now

No fire will melt this
So many tried to survive this
A burden of insecurity
Waiting to be taken by someone else

Rip OFF the drama
cut it to pieces
let us see the real you that's been asleep
I'll try to keep
this friendly and trusty smile upon my face.


Cover me in sweet poetry
That takes away a few tears
From the deep pools of water in your eyes

In a dream coming too soon
Take me to a lighthouse
Offering the warm and reliefing hand
I'll never forget

Coming up the stairs
Lead me to a room
Where the breeze of the afternoon
Will seal our ripped disguise

I'll be laying in your arms
In your arms

Monday, March 10, 2008


I saw your silhouette
A white trail drawn in the air
You were a crystal glass falling down

I saw your face breaking in a thousand pieces
Each shining brighter than the lights in the street
And I sadly couldn't join them all

I saw you walking proudly
As if the hell around didn't bother you
As if you were strong and true after all
And I believed you

We danced until the sun came back
You laughed about my lack of personality
We surrendered to the music of it all
Nothing but a glass about to fall
And I forgot

I forgot how to find the one that made me blind
I'll remember how to be who's better for me
Who'll change the sheets of my soul

I'll wait for me to return
This hunger never growing old or small
I'll be someone I'll fear
Pale and raw

I'm coming back
Opening the gates
My new highlights keeping me awake

I'm coming now, straight and tight
I'll be someone, let's blow your mind
My ego is flying me to the skies

And I exist
Not as you thought it should be
The pillows on my face have no more mean
Free from this body, clean from this scorn
they've thorn me apart

But the piano is still playing
There's music in my death
Am I really gone, or have I gone mad
Maybe I could save something from that glass

I'll wait for me to return
This hunger never growing old or small
This eternal shame growing insane
but I'm afraid to fall

Thursday, March 06, 2008


Waking up, stepping down
Feel her warmth by my side
Protected by her endless love
Surrendered by her glowing shine
I'm drawing in

When she smiles, the world stops to look
When she cries, their hard words can touch
Words that wound, words that learn

All i want is to be there again
To be strong and confident
To go through it all, and face all the grief
Show us all what i believe in
Let me sail, let me drown again
Let me be
Lose myself in the reverie

That 'different paths and choices' thing
Keeps getting me sad
The flower one, easy life it may bring
Easy now sounds so bad

Stepping over flowers, kicking roses aside
If i only could i'd stray
Why's it getting so hard to hide
I won't be taken away

All i want is to be there again
To be strong and confident
To go through it all, and face all the grief
Show us what i believe in
Let me sail, let me drown again
Let me be
Lose myself in the reverie

(all i've ever wanted)

Sunday, March 02, 2008


So many guys say wonderful things about her. Some of her male friends would give anything to date her. Why should he be different?
He is the one she really needs - though he's not the most beautiful, neither the most interesting friend of hers. She hates herself more than she hates him, for letting herself in his game.
But she feels like he doesn't give a shit about it all.
Of course he cares, but not really as much as she does.
She's afraid of how it all might end.
Will he close the door behind him again? She may be left all by herself again, all of a sudden. She's not sure of anything. She's afraid.
Even though, he's also afraid - afraid of not caring about her at all. He considers her for everything she ever did to him and all they've ever done together... but can that be called
Sometimes, deep inside, he wishes he would push her away of his life again, but this time forever. However, he can't know if he won't also be left all alone again afterwards.
Where can all those answers be?

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Par a doxes

A lovely life he wanted, money taken for granted
And the paycheck returned them each day

First time never be the last time
As his iris becomes gray

All tongues be kept for a painful delay

A lovely life he wanted, money taken for granted
And the paycheck returned them each day

First time never be the last time
As his iris becomes gray
All tongues be kept for a painful delay

First time never be the last time
As his iris becomes gray
All tongues be kept

"Mary, you knew my husband a long time...
Oh yes, my darling!
And do you remember what he always said about these things?"

Monday, February 18, 2008


How many
How many days
Are there in a week
They're nothing but
In the backyard
In Charlie's rabbit moon
Full of loons and laughs
Loons and laughs
The first and the last

Hide there inside
Find your own inner bathroom
Stay there
whole night
Maybe then your aches will be alright
Tried again, changed the world
But not only about his haircut

The last and the first
The needs and the must
Trying to keep awake
We're ashamed of being here for a day

Hide there inside
Find your own inner bathroom
Stay there
whole night
Maybe then your face turns out just fine
Tried again, one more sigh
An army ready
To make you cry

Maybe then you'll wake up just alright

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Replace EP

Released: April 24th, 2006
Label: None
Recorded @ First Sight Studios


1 - replace [05:38]
2 - lousy [04:05]

3 - reverie [6:12]
4 - glass a blade [6:00]


Fierce loud crowd watching
A picture burning on the wall
The woman melting away as she tries to say
"I'm not afraid to fall"
A lovely affair they'd say
A bunch of colors melting away

It's not real, just lots of photo cuts
I can't feel the life I've searched
Faces in the screen telling me to stay
But I must join the pieces to find my way around

Surely sparkling from the fountain
Her hair getting wet
The news are lying another thousand times
Again the colors on the floor
Keep talking to me
"Be not afraid to die"

It's not real, just lots of photo cuts
I can't feel the life I've searched
Faces in the screen telling me to stay
But I must join the pieces to find my way

Putting these parts together will make me a day

Thursday, January 31, 2008


Things fall on the floor
My daydreams are full of people who don't care
There must still be something more
Inside that sky, beneath that shell
Selfish is what my friends aim
But there's also what you claim
It's getting tiring
To swim for some land I'll never find

A violin laughs at my wet self
You always had me drowning
Your amazement was never really true
It was my desperate wish to be flying
Over my expectations

All these ideas keep coming up
The songs you have sung
My voices would reach the highest level
The beauty would make me numb

I'm so sure of how it is
Still there are no proofs
My metaphors, my hopes, my fears
Only made me lose
and lose
and lose

Confusion making me sick
Maybe it's time to fit those razors
Around your throat

before my poor writing gets me sad over and over again

Thursday, January 24, 2008


Has it always been like this?
Maybe only I didn't see
I want to sell myself for a great cause
I want to be used and then throwed away
I would be no loss

Despite my tries, I can't escape the wonder
She has a sea hidden asunder
If at least we could swim away
No one would inject the pain in here

Love is my disorder
Obsession is my symptom
I'd love to be true, to be simple
If I only could...

Let's fly!
Look without fear at the seas below us
We'll ride them like a star
And feel the ache in our wings
Let's sail through the waves
And drown under the bright sun
And when everything is done
A little wet kiss to make us warm

No they won't save us
We don't want to go back up
The surface is the enemy
Down here we can start
New life

We are bare, we are empty
We are bare, we are empty
We are bare...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Cruiseshippers, pt.2

Did the curtains drop already?
The enemy is moving across the stage

2 | 1

Cruiseshippers, pt.1

Tomorrow I'm leaving
I'd probably rather shoot everyone before I go
But it isn't worth the bullets
And I laugh at the thought
For knowing I'd never be able to kill not even an animal

And I laugh at myself
My patterns make me ashamed
Is that what I want for me?

I need what is impossible
I seek what I can't reach
So I'm mad at myself and at the others for what we can't give TO ME

Is it right? Is that what I fucking want for me?
I INCINERATE that memory just to fuck myself again

It's all about me
But I'm not worth it
I'm not worth it

I'm.... small
Not any teenage bullshit, no
I'd be an old small thing
Or maybe a baby small thing
It wouldn't change at all

but i ask too much

i need some nice companion
myself maybe, for a change

Why do I leave me when I'm needed the most?

No one


3 | 1


I need

Thursday, January 17, 2008


A whole sea is rotting with "i need"s and "i want"s


Wednesday, January 09, 2008


Her foster paradise someday begins to drown
In a time when fresh ideas are blown through the glasses
Materializing every joy she ever had can consume them whole
But she never meant to cry
Neither to mean anyone harm
How late is it to learn some Physics?

Walking around the table will now seem so boring
The notes must be written, or people will forget it
She must be remembered
She must be remembered
As times have been hard and friends aren't still towers
Who will stand for each storm, each rainstorm that comes and goes

Even still, the words are empty
How will anyone read?
If only they could listen
Or at least sow a trust seed

In this heart of hers
In this hole of hers
In that unsaid goodbye
In those tears running dry
Inside out
How to fall when already lying on the ground?