Mess

What the hell is this
Which keeps her trying to resist
Her own ego
Choosing the safe way
Was her own mechanism
to tell herself
It's not anyone else's fault
Just keep focused
on what you can reach
If only you could tell yourself
what you seek
but it's a messy colorful world
No one's been around
you were never told
about the dangers of this land
The things you'd get to worry about
The people you would choose to laugh at
and people you would cry to care for
The measures you would not stand up long enough to
take care of
Try to be, try to accept
your own misery
Sure I know
how you feel inside that dress, dear
And I've witnessed
this whole fucking mess
But we know
It won't last long
from now it's time
for you to decide
Is it winning time
Or is the downright crime
going to succeed?

There's no more bowls
needed to feed
Keep it to yourself
Oh dear
Try to keep it to yourself
There's no need in trying
to show it to anyone else
Just hold it tight
And keep from leaking out
It's your life
The precious jewel
It all has always been about...
just try
just try
decide
just choose
for your

Mercy

The surgery scar
lying on my belly
was it ever supposed to be
Disgraceful son
Unfaithful husband
Abstract tragedy

As long as I thought everything out
Following the safe way
Things should've worked out for me
As long as steady I stayed
But there's nothing to it
Things always end after all
Everything I built
my pedestal
now ready to fall

Throw away your sympathy
your mercy
I don't need it anymore
To grow old, to grow cold
and every other cliché I ever wore
they serve now as my comfort

The things I tried to own
were never really mine at all

Morning

Snapshots of a past she's been trying to forget
Butterflies she never learned to ride
Every fear comes along now that he's gone
Out of her sight
Screwing up makes her feel alive
Changing the course of events
in every way she can
Asking herself
when will it ever be enough
Time to ring the bells
and return home

Why to choose advice
until you have no choices anymore

Self

Close the door behind you
I laugh inside
just to astound you
Yes I'll fly my way out
A last look into your room
Without a sound

Try a little harder to recall
The days we always ran, silently
To never reach our goal
For our hopes were purely ice
Hard in the core
But melting outside
And in your eyes the only answer
Lightened but trying to hide

Time is still solid though
And it's flowing through our hands
Can't we make it last
Won't you let it show
The heat is burning through our snow

Enough to tell you
The sweetness I refuse to give
Someday you'll be awake
Just to be taken over
by the avalanche of me

Lost

This is the confusion
The pages we forget to read
How you analysed
and the surprise that came along
To find out you're not alone
But the abscence of people in the room
The dresses your friends wore
Never shone as yours
Neither did their eyes
When they cried for attention
Not to mention the poison from their lipsticks
A thousand girls on the mirror
but yourself
Lost somewhere around here

What is such a young lady doing
So early in the morning
Walking on the empty streets?
The weak lights shine on your face
But doubt drips to your feet

Apprenez

You walked down the road to find the ones you once loved.
They make you ashamed of being who you are - the same thing from years ago, untouched inside.
No one's listening anymore to the things that seem to matter only to you. However, someone once did. Someone.
You thought you could, just someday, run faster. Maybe you could cheat the probabilities, and catch the third wave before you even reached the sea. That would be your winning chance, the change that would make things right.
But it didn't happen!
You're not ugly. You're not cute. You're not pretty much everything. You're just... yourself. Small enough not to fit it into any tags or groups. Even that monumental sadness has left you, girl. You missed the tide.

The other girls couldn't envy your brilliant shades of mystery, neither your weird tastes... the boys treated you like something they just took out of their noses. And there was the drama.

The drama that never came back to you. The drama that, even now, you lack.

What is there to give, then? Apparently nothing, but deep in your damaged mind you feel there's so much to lose. Your sickness grows with each day, and you cover it up better and better with time.

Did you really want...?

" say what you say, say it like a cat
say it to my face and say what you know every one says "