Night Vision

I do not take the darkness seriously as I do not perceive skin as it is,

nothing but a string of slightly yellow, bright light

to my eyes.

Neither do I take seriously, or even perceive, for that matter,

the lack of his lingering presence on my back.

Wishful thinking, you might say, but I'd rather dismiss it as gentle breeze,

that just happens to shroud me softly some times at night.

Why being attached to notions that do not entertain or comfort me, in times like these?

There is a math to it all, trying to deconstruct the patterns that entrap and isolate one

from recovering feelings and memories,

or from finding new ones that serve their purpose - 

such as air shaped as him, or the shiny trail left by a lightning bug that may be actually disguised as my skin.

It might still be around, if there is just enough...

Painstakingly

Sucked his cheeks in

but they didn't return

Locked tongue

and saliva

stuck

Cheeks in

his grin

they didn't return.

Pedestal

She had the rare gift of being a god without faith

or believers. Eyes roadworn, physical idol deteriorating,

but still the constant wakefulness sustained.

Sacred and inane.

Sanitary

It pours out of my mouth, silent

Only to hit the ground with a strident cry

and punch me back in the chest,

stomach and liver

Teeth sliding out

into the ocean

Water in distinct waves decoding the struggle

to breathe

through the punch that turns all incomplete

Left on a ground is it:

bundle of organs, open teeth, dirty ocean

and a voice still contained.

Wasted

Youth

Potential

Time

Experiences

Stripes

for

Dots

Ropes for Knots

Methods

Norms

Routines

Bores

Wasteful

thoughts

waiting. for the crash to take place. but disappointed.

will collide tomorrow?

Tuesday

Exhaled smoke is not always as thick as you wish it would be

It gets troubled in between the thick atmosphere

and fades rather quickly

away

Though you can still arrange the columns of dreams

even if they will not reward you enough for it

They are still the most meaningful combinations

And their sense will guarantee itself

throught the nights and the dreams

that are not burdened by physical discomfort

or sudden, killing alarm rings

that kill memories too

Dreams are memories, 

if you are not yet aware of it.

Just write them down, maybe it will help

to build down the better

combinations

of molecules

in the atmosphere