Nausea

Vituperative thinking
Wishes her head would spin
a hundred crazy loops
so she could spit out all that she has seen
and heard
felt
and been
Looking around
pieces of security and pieces of what
she always wanted to become
like beads of light, in her dark dreams
she's drawn to in the most intense ways
and tries to get to by any means possible

Spit it out
what they see in her
so they don't deserve to learn of her
learn of her truth
Her wounds are outside in, and theirs inside out
but still she asks it loud, what it's all about
the inner battling for social graces

Louder still is the intuition:
when drinking for the first time
a life so deep and fierce
that it turns out to be poisoning,
vomiting is the solution.