Lost

This is the confusion
The pages we forget to read
How you analysed
and the surprise that came along
To find out you're not alone
But the abscence of people in the room
The dresses your friends wore
Never shone as yours
Neither did their eyes
When they cried for attention
Not to mention the poison from their lipsticks
A thousand girls on the mirror
but yourself
Lost somewhere around here

What is such a young lady doing
So early in the morning
Walking on the empty streets?
The weak lights shine on your face
But doubt drips to your feet

Apprenez

You walked down the road to find the ones you once loved.
They make you ashamed of being who you are - the same thing from years ago, untouched inside.
No one's listening anymore to the things that seem to matter only to you. However, someone once did. Someone.
You thought you could, just someday, run faster. Maybe you could cheat the probabilities, and catch the third wave before you even reached the sea. That would be your winning chance, the change that would make things right.
But it didn't happen!
You're not ugly. You're not cute. You're not pretty much everything. You're just... yourself. Small enough not to fit it into any tags or groups. Even that monumental sadness has left you, girl. You missed the tide.

The other girls couldn't envy your brilliant shades of mystery, neither your weird tastes... the boys treated you like something they just took out of their noses. And there was the drama.

The drama that never came back to you. The drama that, even now, you lack.

What is there to give, then? Apparently nothing, but deep in your damaged mind you feel there's so much to lose. Your sickness grows with each day, and you cover it up better and better with time.

Did you really want...?

" say what you say, say it like a cat
say it to my face and say what you know every one says "

The truth is

that person never really existed outside your mind. You were always in love with yourself over the years - or with yourselves, I might add... just for the pleasure to be. Pain was the bonus with the package. How dramatic can that be?

You're such a drama queen! But I like you, still. You sound colorful, and yet so blank... like a good book waiting to be written. Or to be read. You are wonderful, actually.

Just try to last a little longer. The public loves good endings, happy or not.

Afterword

I want you here with the view
Bring yourself from the shores
Like the bird from which you just flew
away
When the storm began
For I've been grounded all the while
Watching drawings upon the sky
And hoping oh so hard for the next crash
My thoughts lost with the tide

Swirling through the waves
past each and every coral
Bubbles dancing in a hurry
Searching for the wind above
Something's still missing
Empty in my shell
Alone

A nest for hopes and dreams
Built out of the sea
Awaits for your return
When your sweet face is dry
Your wings will take you high
And you'll dream even beneath the judging sun
Your shame and regret
Their harsh talks and looks
Are just feathers to let go
To feel yourself finally free
Accepted to be
And not afraid to show

Swimming through the clouds
I can see your approach
From the warm sand burning soft
You came so far just to come down
Do not fear my touch
Deeply I've seen it
Known it all

This is your land to see
The life not so lost
The cost you've paid
yours to become

Promise

As the letter burned, the smoke spoke to me
Silent words floating, disappeared
The weather shifting through the windows
For the time is getting near
When the lack of changes will be clear

Others' luck doesn't matter
I want my own happy times
They're yours, so they'll be mine
But time ticks so slow

My reflection in the night
tells me nothing
Though it still reveals
The words that floated around
The scars they made that didn't heal
Didn't change

Feels strange to be
Still, heavily
Such an arsonist of a kind
Setting fire to the thoughts
Possibilities or not, pros and cons without a try
A promise to seek
The one not to keep but to hide

Self-indulgence self doubt
Every feeling in a row
while the heat enters the room
The smoke still tries to show

But time ticks so slow

Winterbreeze

The way the trees bent
To the massive wind blowing on the hills
Like a photograph
Kept the same way over the years
In a way I wouldn't grow
I would freeze in time

A single picture in my mind
So many colors to combine
And build the piece of what I'm to become

Downfallen like the tree
The small leaf across the plains
Awaiting for the sea

On the top of desire lies
the breeze
Cold enough to stone
the strong and the weak
I'm running away as the fields become small
Crushing the grass beneath my feet

Have I arrived too late
Or lost sight of it
As phenomenal to be seen

Downfallen like the tree
The small leaf across the plains
Awaiting for the sea

projection

Every single buried thing
Comes out of the earth
As back he comes
The tears they didn't cry
We'll recall

For pictures survived the years
As young as they once were
'You are what you are
But you lack the nerves'
As back he comes
From the dirt

The extra dish for dinner
Unwanted guest
Forgotten misery served for dessert

Too late to ask questions
Too late to try
He is gone
But still they ask why

Misfortunes yet to tell